It’s been a rather odd few weeks. I’m not sure what has really caused the “funk” but things have just seemed a little harder in the past two weeks than normal. I guess it could be a number of things, but it’s probably just a part of life. Days, weeks, months, seasons…they can fluctuate between highs and lows in some sort of odd melody. And life goes on.
Maybe it was the rough chemo treatment last round (on March 21) that set the tone for the last few weeks. It was a rough one for Brian’s body. He’s had some exhausting days, some tight muscles and achy joints, some sleepless nights, some dry eyes, some itchiness, and he’s starting to develop a cough. Seems like there are weeks when we’re full of energy and laughter, and then other weeks where it takes everything we have to make it to the next morning. God gives and takes away…it reminds me to take hold of those great moments and live the life out of them when they happen. Because they don’t always stick around.
Maybe the funk is a result of the busyness of work and activities. It’s Easter week..which means, when you work at a church, you run around like a headless chicken for about a month before the big holiday arrives. This year has presented it’s own challenges and craziness…every year is different. And then there are all of the activities and ministries we’re a part of throughout the week. It’s just a busier season than we’ve had for a while. So when those moments of rest come, I enjoy the slower pace. The speed of life fluctuates, and I’m reminded to enjoy each season, because the next one probably wont be like the last.
Or maybe oddness of the past few weeks is because so many people we either know or know second-hand have faced life-altering sicknesses. It seems that every other day, I find out that another person has been diagnosed with cancer…or is having a critical surgery…or had an unexpected health emergency happen. Even people that I don’t know, but have heard about through facebook friends, are facing crushing blows to their lives. Just this weekend, several people from my previous church posted about their friend who suffered a massive stroke while running with friends. He was my age. He died last night. People have been posting about a kid from my hometown who is in Hospice House waiting for Jesus to take him home and relieve him from the battle of a rare cancer. Why? Because God gives and takes away.
I’m just not sure I’ll ever understand why that happens. I’ll never know how people wake up the next morning to face the day after such devastation..such life altering events. How do you keep shining your light when you feel like life has snuffed it out? Maybe it only happens because of the power of the resurrection. After all, losing someone you love feels like death…and only one person has conquered death and come back to tell about it. Maybe life goes on simply because of the power of Jesus living within us that causes us to take one more breath…one more step…after we feel like all hope is lost.
For now, I’ll choose to believe that God is good. All the time. When he gives and he takes away. In the good times and the bad. At the mountain top and in the deepest valleys. All the time. God is good.