Cancer sucks.

I know, I know. I’ve been talking about cancer a lot lately. Sorry. But that’s just my life right now.

Seriously, CANCER SUUUUUUUCKS!!!! I just want to scream it from a rooftop. And I’m not just talking about Brian’s cancer…it just seems like cancer is the new fad for this decade or something. Seriously…it’s disgusting how prevalent it is. I think I find out about someone new having cancer at least every two weeks, if not more. This past week, there were at least 2 new people I found about…not personally..but people I know who have connections with those people. In fact, the day after my BFF, Megan, mentioned that her friend’s mom found out she had cancer and was going downhill quickly, I found out that she passed away. Seriously–cancer makes me want to cuss.

I don’t know how people make it through this crap without Jesus. Just sayin’.

Anyways, so here are a few books I’m reading right now….

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I can’t believe I’m reading this stuff. I thought these books were written for OTHER people. Not something that I would ever read, or that I’d understand or really need to read. Sigh. So far, I’ve only started the “100 questions & answers about Caring for Friends or Family with Cancer” (wow, that’s a long title). Sadly, I totally relate to so many of the questions in there already. Brian skimmed through the “Everything Changes: The insiders guide to cancer in your 20’s and 30’s” (again, another long title). He related to several of the first-hand comments that are made in that book.

These books have sparked some deeper conversations between Brian and I…of which, I am really grateful. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about that stuff because you just don’t know how to start that convo….”Can you pass the beans? Oh, and are you jealous of other 20-somethings that don’t have cancer and can travel anywhere and have kids and not worry about insurance and medical bills?” I mean…it’s just awkward and difficult all the way around. So i can say that I’m thankful I checked out these books from the library just for that sake.

But come on, No one wants to be a newly wed and be laying awake in the dark just talking about fighting for your life and all of the adult decisions we have to make. That just sucks. We should be talking about Alaskan Cruises or having kids or what it would be like to move to Africa and work with orphans for a year. Not about insurance and what drug we should take and if the FDA has approved the latest treatment and the horrible side effects of chemo and the awful symptoms of cancer and how 3 of the 5 people you went through transplants with are now dead.

It makes me sick when I think about it like that.

Anyways..I don’t quite know what I was hoping to accomplish with this blog…but I guess it just helped to externally process it. That’s all.

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One thought on “Cancer sucks.

  1. It breaks my heart that you are facing such unknowns. I’m so thankful for your relationship with God and your love for your husband and your many friends and support systems and prayer warriors. We don’t know what the future hold, but we can rest assured that we know Who holds the future. I love you and pray daily for both of you to have hope and comfort and strength and wisdom.

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