As i sit at work today, i can’t help but think of Ellison and Angelou. I wonder if they’re playing kickball or if they’re eating their rice for breakfast. I think about Pierre, I wonder if he’s doing his leg exercises to strengthen his leg…i wonder if he’s staying out of trouble. I think about Jenika, and if she’s been able to explore the truth in the Bible deeper. I wonder how Renise is doing, how big she’s getting with a beautiful little girl inside. I think about Dafka, who also recently found out she was pregnant, but isn’t showing right now…and her desire to finish her high school education so she can be a nurse. Except that she can’t register for school without a birth certificate and other legal documents that are all now buried in rubble in some government building in Port au Prince. It’s now a common problem there in Haiti. All identitification, legalities…gone.
But even more than that, now i think about the rainy season. People who just lost everything, including the roof over their heads…they are now searching for dry land. Tents, filled with water. Where to go now? Everything in me just wants to hop on a plane and get down there again. We have to do SOMETHING! I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING! But what can I do? I feel so helpless. This is just one of many struggles I’m wrestling with post-trip.
If God is the God of JUSTICE, and he calls the church to actively fight for the widow, the orphan, the homeless, the oppressed, the hungry, the naked, the poor….then WHY are there so many people filling up the church pews who are just SITTING there and not doing a THING!? Am I one of those people? God, please don’t ever let me be one of those people…please don’t ever let me get too comfortable that I miss out on Your command to Your Church.
I’m struggling with a lot of things right now…so much processing to do. I’m looking forward to a Saturday alone to just go to a coffee shop or a bookstore and just think, pray, and really seek out God for answers. I’m processing the end of a good friendship, the possibility of starting a new life with a ring on my finger, and this deep urge that we HAVE to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves.
I’m missing Haiti a lot right now. And then I think about South Africa and the piece of my heart that I left over there. We have to do something. YOU have to do something about this. I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING.
America has been too blessed to just sit around and get fat and lazy on that blessing. We’ve got to bless others.