God has been working on me a lot lately. He is continuing to show me where I need more of Him in my life. Continuing to show me where I need to surrender….and trust. Like I said earlier, that area of my life right now is dependence. Depending on Him..relying on Him…waiting on Him to meet my needs, be there to comfort me, to be a listener, counselor, friend.
Those things always seemed so cliche. yeah…God is my friend…ok. But the more I’m being exposed on my dependence on friends to fulfill areas of my life that only He should, the more I’m starting to see that He really can be a friend. He can listen when I want to talk and talk and talk….I mean, He already knows my deepest thoughts, so I dont really have to worry what He may think. I can talk to Him when I have something exciting happen in my day..or frustrating…or confusing.
Yes, friends are good to have. No, im not cutting ties with everyone and just living like a hermit. I still spend ample amounts of time with friends. But in those times that I’m with friends, I spend my energy developing the friendship, learning more about my friend, being myself, having a good time, creating memories, diving deep into discussion….rather than spending the time just hoping they will meet a need that only God can meet. Rather than running to them for every single crisis…when God should be the first one I’m running to.
So i guess I’m rambling. But I guess this is what has been happening in my heart lately. And I actually think I’ve made some really good progress. The time with my friends has now become so incredibly rich….I leave feeling full…rather than leaving disappointed and unfulfilled.
God alone is my portion and supply.
I think I’m starting to get that.