Perspective

Yesterday was absolutely incredible. By the end of the day, I laid my head on the pillow and actually talked to God (it’s been awhile since I’ve been able to talk to Him with ease) and I just said “Wow, thanks God. Seriously. Today was perfect, filled with so many of my simple little pleasures….thank you for this gift of a day.” That’s how great it was.

I woke up around 11:15 which started the day off great. Most people would be frustrated waking up this late, but you have to understand something. Lately, I have been sleeping horribly. I will wake up with raging adrenaline through me. I will toss and turn all night. I will instantly wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the ceiling for an hour before finally falling back asleep. So the 11:15 a.m. wake-up was a true gift.

I had no agenda or plans for the day, which is also a gift. I got up and laid on my couch and watched a few episodes of Oprah that I had taped on DVR from this week. Guilty pleasure. 🙂 So comfy pants watching Oprah was a great way to start off the day. I threw some clothes on and ran to Sonic for a diet coke with their great little ice in it…yum. Heated up some pizza from the night before (I went out with friends after a Young Adult Worship night which was SO incredible, and it was so fun to hang out). So I lounged and had lunch and then decided I would go to the pool and read.

I headed to the pool with a splitting headache and a really tight neck and shoulders (which I’ve been experiencing lately)…but I was pretty excited because it was my first time to get to the pool this year. While I laid there reading my book, the kids were going crazy in the pool. I mean, they were like little psycho Rambo kids trying to attack these bees that were flying around. I’m not going to lie, it could have gotten really annoying. The clouds came out and it even started to sprinkle a bit while I was out there. And my headache just seemed to get worse with the screaming kids. But as I laid there, I couldn’t help but just see things from a different perspective. Sure, it was sprinkling, but it was hot and I was in my swimming suit…so the rain was not hurting me a bit. Plus, it was just a tiny rain cloud…it was sunny everywhere else, and soon I would be hot and scorching again. Sure, i could have been so frustrated with the screaming kids, but as I watched them, I just couldnt help but see them as little warriors trying to fight off the “killer bees.” Didn’t God give us an imagination to explore? These kids were exploring it at the pool that day. And I actually delighted in watching them get so creative in attacking these insects. Some guy was blaring his ghetto music that seemed to just make my headache worse, but rather than be annoyed, I took in the creativity and talent that God had given these musicians. I laid there trying to relax and my headache faded a bit. A woman a few chairs down was fighting with someone on the phone and was dropping curse words all over the place. Instead of glaring at her or trying to tune her out, I just started to pray for her. I prayed that her heart would be softened. That God would meet her in her deepest sources of pain. That He would be very real to her. She started to cry. Something that was said on the phone had struck a nerve with her, and she started to weep. I just kept on praying. Soon, her son started asking her questions and she had moved on to her next order of business. I’m still thinking about her right now. As I laid there yesterday, I just couldnt help but see the beauty God had placed in front of me. The intricacies and detail of every little facet of life. Beautiful. Stunning. Real. Vibrant.

I got back to my apartment and got cleaned up, went to the store and got some things to make some fruit salad. It was the only thing that sounded good to me. I got back and made the salad and went out to my porch where there was a gentle sunshine sitting on my chair. I sat there in peace. Listening to the birds chirp. Feeling the breeze on my face. Serenity. Calm. Quiet. Restoration. Rejeuvenation. Redemption. I kept reading my book “Captivating” where God challenged me on many levels. I sat there thinking, processing, taking it all in. I got out my journal and just started writing out a prayer to God. A broken, raw, humble, weak, quiet, whisper of a prayer. And I cried. And it felt good. And God was there with me. I know He just sat there with me. Knowing that I had no energy to pursue Him or perform for Him or fulfill any huge mission…the only thing I could do was to BE. And I truly felt that was enough.

I came back inside after a while and cleaned my apartment. It was good to make everything fresh again, put everything back into place, restore the order. By this time it was late. I laid back down on my couch and grabbed my book again and read a few more chapters. And by that time, it was time for bed.

I turned off the lights and laid in bed and felt so calm and at peace. And I just whispered “thank you for this day. i know it was a gift just for me.”

I could have had a million things to be angry or frustrated about yesterday. I didnt hang out with a single person. I was alone all day. I had a raging headache, stomach ache, a neck that is killing me, it was hot and humid and nasty.

But it was my perspective. Yesterday I saw things as beautiful. As calm and creative and fascinating. As breathtaking and as multiple silly little pleasures of life that God chose to wrap into one stunning gift of a day.

And I felt, for the first time in a long time, that it was well with my soul.

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