I’m sick of me…

I’m sick of me. I’ve been thinking this for a while, especially when all of my personality profiles turned out opposite of who i want to be, but let me tell you why I’m so sick…

I’m sick of me because I want to accept change better than I do. I want to be content with where I’m at and who I am and who I’m with. I’m sick of me because I am a raging bomb just ready to go off at any command. I’m sick of me because my heart runs to false beauty. I’m sick that nothing is good enough for me. I’m sick that I have so many expectations for everything.

I’m sick of me because I want to be more daring. I’m sick of me because I actually want to be less caring. I’m sick of me because I go too deep. I’m sick of me because I have an addictive personality.

I’m sick that I can’t just be more light hearted. I’m sick of complaining, but even more sick that sometimes I can’t stop. I’m sick of me because I need quality time to feel loved. I’m sick of me because I suck the fun out of everything. I’m sick of me for overcommitting. 

I’m sick that I am a rule follower. That I am a record keeper. A judgemental freak.

I’m sick of me because I dont want to have a ‘beaver’ personality. I’m sick of me because I dont want ‘tradition’ to be my highest value. I’m sick that I’m so close minded. I’m sick that fast-paces stress me out. I’m sick that I need to be in constant contact. I’m sick that I am so consumeristic.

I’m sick that my personality profile states that others see me as fussy. I’m sick that I know its true.

I’m sick of me because I should be spiritually deeper at my age than I am. I’m sick of me because I want recognition for the things I create. I’m sick of me for thinking I deserve more than I have. I’m sick of me for knowing I should care about my body, but not caring. I’m sick of me for feeling the pressure not to wear jeans and a sweatshirt. I’m sick that I crave time with people, but don’t give God the time of day.

I’m sick of me for setting my standards too high. I’m sick of me for being too picky. I’m sick of me for trusting too easily. I’m sick of me for not trusting at all.

I’m sick of me because capturing beauty is never my first response. 

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3 thoughts on “I’m sick of me…

  1. HI,
    Oh my precious precious granddaughter,you .don’t give your self enough credit think of all the places in the WORLD you have been all the things you do, your being way to hard on your self .I truly don’t understand the fast pace world ,this am on tv the had the new electronic STUFF oh my I’m so happy to be not caring about that stuff, but it was cool.

    JUST BREATHE
    GOD BLESS you
    love ya grams

  2. Pingback: But I also love me… «

  3. Pingback: But I also love me… | thatangiegirl.com

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