Tonight I’ve been pondering my 2009 theme. And to be honest, it’s gotten me a little nervous. These themes are a big deal. They’re not something to mess around with.
Last year my theme was “exposed.” Sometime last year, I prayed a prayer to God that went a little like this: “God, rock me to my core. Turn my world upside down until you are my only hope.” And that was my whole desire in choosing the theme “exposed.” I wanted God to lay me bare before Him, under his glaring, holy, and perfect light, and expose all of me so that I could become more like Him.
He did. And that might be an understatement. This has been the hardest year of my life. From my cousin losing her baby, to my grandparents being put in a nursing home, to my brother calling off his wedding, to a handful of other family disappointments, and hardest of all, walking through the many resignations of my fellow friends and co-workers at Westside, enduring some agonizing moments in ministry, and eventually walking through my own resignation at WFC. It seemed as if almost everything, including my dreams, had been exposed and stripped from me. This year I have felt broken, alone, wounded, and hauntingly empty. Until one day I cried out, “God, you are all I have. You are my only hope in this mess.”
In 2008, I have been exposed.
Needless to say, I’m a little timid to think about next year’s theme. But i know it will be okay. God is my only hope.