You Give and Take Away
And so it happened. I had finally resigned. I had finally let go of my dream.
The events following my resignation were brutal and not worth describing. For everyone’s benefit, my last day was Thursday, October 16th rather than the original date of November 2nd. Just one short week after resigning. And less than 2 weeks after returning from my vacation. It was a whirlwind, to say the least.
And as I walked away on Thursday, I felt the chapter close. And I hated it. I knew it was right, but it was devastating. I had been deeply hurt and I can’t describe the searing pain I endured through all of it. And in that aspect, I was relieved to leave. But everything within me was aching as I walked away from the place I called my home, and the people I called my family.
The weekend was a very low time. I felt lost. I didn’t know what to do. Westside was my world…and now it was no longer. Sure, I may still go to one of the regional campuses for church…but it was devastating to leave the place no longer an employee. For the most part, I absolutely loved working there. I figured out who I was there. My identity was wrapped up in Westside. That job was the love of my life.
And once I had finally left, the lyrics, “You give and take away,” have never felt more real. I finally felt stripped of everything. EVERYTHING. Even my dreams were gone. It was simply me and God. I was sad, heartbroken, confused, and just beginning to feel the effects of grief.
But I have never felt more free in my life. Never felt more at peace. Never felt more sure that I was exactly in the center of God’s will. And the unknowns of my future looked more and more like an exciting adventure.
And that’s exactly what it is. An adventure.