I’ve had a healthy dose of it lately. And truth be told, its been a while since i’ve felt this small, but intense twinge in my heart. Things are stirring in my spirit. I can’t really describe that last sentence, but every Christ-follower knows what I’m talking about. It’s this feeling that you just must respond to the One who created you. A magnet pulling you back to where you belong. And while being pulled back, the waves of convicting whispers are echoing in the cold caverns of my being.
What right do i have to defy God? What right do I have to rebel? I have been called to live above reproach. Instead, I’ve been arguing that I have the right to do things my own way because “i deserve better than this.” Who am I to think that I know what’s going on? What right do I have clinging on to friendships and positions and possessions so tightly that i suffocate and kill them, rather than letting God use them all how He chooses? Who am I to demand security when God may want to shake my world in order to glorify Himself? Who am I to demand more when I have been given so much?
I’ve been reminded lately of this:
“…When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.” Luke 12:48.
And so its time to get back up, dust off the dirt, and keep walking. My heart is changing. I know people are praying. I am learning a lot. And so the journey continues….