Yesterday as I drove to work from my very first apartment, knowing that my best friend and mentor no longer worked at Westside meant I would really have to step up to the plate, knowing I would be moving into a new office with my very own desk and phone, getting ready to jump into the responsibilities of my brand new position (associate director of high school ministries)….i felt a huge wave of emotion splash over me: This is life. You are now an adult. This is the independence I’ve been working towards since those very first adolescent years in middle school. And here it is.
It felt like the first day of school. I needed someone to take pictures of me standing outside of my apartment door getting ready to leave for the day. Or in front of the door of Westside as I went to work. Or at my very own desk. Or drinking “grown up” coffee with just a little milk and sugar because the line at Starbucks was too long and I have to be more responsible with where my money is going. No one was there to take pictures, but it still felt all very surreal. A new chapter has just begun in my life.
And if i were to be really honest, it’s not all i thought it would be. But it is still good. It’s the kind of “good” you just don’t quite get. Its like absolute “good.” The kind of “good” that is talked about in Romans 8:28…for God is working all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. It’s the kind of good that might even seem bad in our own perspectives. The kind that you say “God, how can this be good? Are you blind to what is happening in my life?” But its the kind of good that you look back and say “wow, those trials and difficulties were good, because they brought me here…to a place only God could have created.”
And so in this new chapter of unknowns and grown-up things, I’m reminded that God IS good. And I’m so excited to see what is about to unfold. No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has even conceieved what God has in store for us. and THAT, my friends, gives me an unspeakable hope.