Do you remember this post? It had been quite a week. My grandpa in the hospital going delusional, not quite sure why exactly. And then the most painful blow to our family when little Emmalee left us. Man, it really rocked me. And then i said I had more devastating news. The walk had become a crawl. How much more could i really take?
So what was the devastating news, that suddenly became okay? Well…in still very generic descriptions, my brother and his fiance had called off their wedding scheduled for June 14th. Man, what an emotional weekend it was. But thankfully they worked it all out and everything was sunny.
I jumped right back into work when i got back to Kansas City Sunday night. Monday morning started my last week of college, as well as finals week. Let me just say, I was exhausted. But i just had to make it until after this weekend and I would be done with college, and i would finally be able to relax. And then Wednesday came.
I asked my brother if i could share this, and he said i could….but in still very generic details, on Wednesday they called off their wedding for good. I can’t give you all the reasons, and really, i have more questions than I have answers, but needless to say, it was a long night on Wednesday. I think i’ve cried more in the past two weeks than i have in so so so so long. I only had 3 hours of sleep that night…so thursday was awful and emotional.
I’m exhausted….and i’m grieving so many things on so many levels. I miss Lindsay (his fiance) so much already, and I’m really really sad, as i can’t see anyone else being my sister-in-law except her. My mom told me that its as if we have to grieve for her as if she died, because she will no longer be in our family’s lives in the same way she was before. And that’s really hard. I’ve experienced many of they emotions of grief already…denial, sadness, anger….I haven’t gotten to acceptance yet.
So needless to say, its been another trainwreck of a week and in the midst of the situation, my brother didnt want me blogging about it….so rather than just post happy-go-lucky stories…i just stayed silent. How could i possibly write about anything else when I’m walking such a rocky road right now?
So, needless to say, please pray for my family and my extended family….