April 10-April 23rd, 2008

It’s hard to imagine how much thirteen days can completely impact a person’s life. It takes longer than thirteen days to train for a marathon. It takes longer than thirteen days to learn to sing opera or paint a masterpiece. It takes longer than thirteen days to learn a language. It takes longer than thirteen days to even get a passport.

But in thirteen days, one beautiful baby girl captivated the hearts and attention of hundreds of people, especially those of her immediate and extended family. In thirteen days, we fell in love with this gorgeous little human being…most of us not even meeting her in person. In thirteen days, we learned to pray harder, trust harder, depend harder, seek harder, and obey harder. And harder is exactly the word to describe this journey we’re on.

Today around noon, Emmalee Ann Pearl Feldman passed away as her parents, Ali and Jon, held her, talked to her, sang to her, and read her her favorite book “God Gave Me You.” For the first time in thirteen days, they were able to hold their cleaned up, clothed little baby as they walked her Home. The first time. And the last.

No one will ever understand the emotions Jon and Ali are experiencing right now. No one will be able to feel the pain as deeply as they feel. No one will be able to utter the questions they have in their spirits tonight. Please pray for comfort and for peace.

Today is a really hard day for me. There are many factors tied into this story that affect me in very personal ways. I dont plan on disclosing all of that on the world wide web, but needless to say, i feel very, very numb tonight. Ive been swamped at work and really havent let it sink in yet. I also havent had a close death in the family that has affected me in this strong of a way. I was too young to really understand my grandpa’s death, which was probably the closest loss I’ve had until now. Maybe you think its weird that I’m having such a hard time when its my cousin’s baby that I never met…but my cousin and I are really close. I love her and her husband and their whole family so so so very much. I was soooo excited that they were finally having a baby. Emmalee meant more to our family than anyone will probably understand just by reading internet posts about it. So saying goodbye is harder than I would have imagined. Thirteen days and a baby completely captivated my heart.

its going to be a tough night. Please pray for Jon and Ali, and my entire family. I’ll leave you with the email I received from my Aunt Annie this afternoon…

At noon today, Emmalee Ann Pearl Feldman passed away.  Earth is crying, but heaven is rejoicing.  We had a beautiful time of saying goodbye to our precious Emma before they disconnected the ECMO machine…Ali and Jon read her her favorite book one more time, “God Gave Me You.”

Emmalee’s heart had developed more blood clots and there was just no way for her to survive.  We are grateful that God made it easier to make the decision to let her go…that was our prayer that we would get a clear answer to her condition and it was very clear that really we had no choice but to remove her and let her go.  Very hard, but the right decision.

I’ll write more later…my heart is a little broken right now.  But I wanted to thank you again for your concerns and prayers for our Emma…she is so at peace and resting now with no tubes…oh, it was beautiful to see her with no tubes in her mouth.

Currently, they are stitching up her chest and will wrap her up for all of us to be able to hold her for the first and last time.  We will treasure that time and covet your prayers in the days ahead.

The journey isn’t over. Please pray.


5 thoughts on “April 10-April 23rd, 2008

  1. praying for you angie, and emmalee’s family, i know this is so heartbreaking for you all. i pray you can rest in God’s peace.

  2. I know exactly why it hit you the way it did – and know that I am praying for you and am lifting you up in prayer. Your family is strong and I admire all of your strength and courage. I will be praying for safe travels for you guys this weekend. If you need anything please don’t hesitate to call. You are loved.

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