I can’t believe that in less than three weeks, I will be boarding a plane and heading over to South Africa. Wow. As a side note, I turned in the rest of my money this past week..i’m officially going.
My feelings? Nervous, excited, overwhelmed…just to name a few. Today we have our third team meeting. Each one of these meetings leaves me feeling sick..full of frazzled nerves…excitement, fear, a lot of unknowns. In preparation for this meeting, we were asked to sit down and spend some time in prayer and silence and write down why we were going on this trip. What are my expectations? Why am i going? Wow…tough questions.
My first answer? “well, I just feel like God is telling me to go..so i’m going. Its not because i have friends going..its not because there are youth going..its not because its an adventure to mark off my list..im simply going because i feel like I’m supposed to.” Fair enough.
I’ve been mulling these questions around in my head lately and i think i’ve somewhat come to a few conclusions. I want to go because I want to learn more about God’s character. I can’t think of a better way than to get out of the Americanized bubble I live in and go to a place where poverty and disease has devastated millions of families. To encounter the God that sees and loves even the lowest of lows. To take note and strive to become more like this in my small human capacity. To broaden my ability to love. To stop thinking about myself and my adgenda and even my friends and, i dare say, my church and my ministries….to stop focusing on all of that for a few short days and get a larger grasp of who God is and what He is doing on this planet besides just in my small sphere of influence.
Who is God? What kind of God allows this type of devastation to sweep a continent? Where can I see God in the encounters with these dying people? With these hurting and lonely children? How can i be more like God? What things can i learn about God in South Africa that the American life blinds me from?
These are just a few of my thought processes as I prepare for this trip. I will try to update this blog a little more often as I count down the days to SA (south africa) and I will most definitely share all about it when i return. Please be praying for me and my team. There is no doubt that we will experience and learn things that we cannot even conceive at this time.