A few months ago i ran across the blog space of a good friend and incredible mentor, megan, and i happened to read this in one of her entries:
I guess when I said I wanted to live life like an adventure, I sure got it. With scary twists and turns and dark paths and fun meadows and great views. No adventure is good unless you feel like you are going to die at some point… or at a few points. Then when the danger is over you can say, “YES! Did you SEE what just happened?!?! What could have happened?!?!”
I guess in all the great adventure movies, what makes them good is the danger and the could have beens. I just hope my adventure ends with a happy ending. Well, sure it does. Just maybe that happy ending will come in the next world.
Such a cheesy entry today, I know… but sometimes just taking comfort in thinking of life as a fun adventure makes it a little less scary and a lot more exciting.
That quote struck me so much that i actually wrote it down in my journal that night. Wow….what a faith, what a faithfulness in the midst of hard and desperate times. My hope was that someday I could say the same thing in the midst of some hard times of my own. Suddenly tonight i found myself writing this on a friend’s facebook wall:
thank YOU for listening to me while my humanness screams and throws tantrums. Im thankful that we all serve a God who is daily calling us to an amazing adventure with high points and low points and scary twists and turns, because knowing that we are all serving Him, I can rest assured that this scary ride will turn out better than i can ever hope or imagine. Thank you again for being there for me while i painfully die to myself over and over again, it sure is ugly sometimes…thanks for walking through this chapter of my life with me. I am so excited to see where this adventure takes us both. 🙂
Wow. God has surely transformed my faith this summer. But now that i’ve said that, you’re probably wondering what exactly im facing in my own life. Well, in some ways i can’t go into full details, but i can say enough that you will start to see the scary twists and turns im facing right now.
For a long time now I have been praying for a community of strong Christian women to really grow close with and grow deeper in Christ through this connection. Over the past year…even over this past summer…God has truely blessed me with some amazing women that I have SOOOO much enjoyed doing life with. But slowly, it appears as if God is individually calling these women into new places and new directions. My friend Jennifer (who i interned with last summer), just recently moved to Alabama to pursue graduate studies. Another friend, Crystal, is being led to missions work in Africa. And the list goes on, but thats the gist of the situation.
Its funny, because i posted a few months back the fact that i had been praying stupid prayers lately. (this was probably written the same night i read megan’s blog). By stupid prayers, I mean I prayed “God shatter my life in a way that makes me cling only to You, in a way that makes You my only hope. If that means pain and suffering, I am willing to go through that in order to be more intimate with you.” yeah, stupid…just go ahead and say it. But the thing is, its not like i just wanted to pray it. God placed that prayer in my heart. It consumed my heart, my mind, my life….so as much as i didnt want to pray it out loud, i had basically already been praying it inside myself for a while because God had placed it there.
So i am now nearing those scary twists and turns myself…and while it gives me peace to know that this adventure is orchestrated by God….it doesnt make it any easier to accept in my humanness. Pray for me as I continue this ride…