I’m starting the book “The Pursuit of God” by A.W. Tozer…i started it last summer with the lifegroup i went to for a little bit but we never finished it…and that was one thing that really opened my eyes to everything and really got me hungry for God. it was the start of a huge spiritual growth spurt that i had and I never did finish it so id love to re-read it and really be challeneged again. The internship is nothing like last year, which i definitely expected. Its really stretching me and growing me to take initiative, which is scary and incredible at the same time. I actually have to put effort into be fed and challenged because last year it all happened in our discussions at home….but i think working for it is good. Its what actually develops roots in my own life so that when im faced with difficulty, I can stand strong knowing i worked hard in pursuing God and have built a strong foundation. So this summer is different, but different is good.
Something i really got out of the first chapter that i read last night was this statement:
“If we would find God amid all the religious externals we must first determine to find Him, and then proceed in the way of simplicity. Now as always God discovers Himself to `babes’ and hides Himself in thick darkness from the wise and the prudent. We must simplify our approach to Him. We must strip down to essentials (and they will be found to be blessedly few). We must put away all effort to impress, and come with the guileless candor of childhood. If we do this, without doubt God will quickly respond.
When religion has said its last word, there is little that we need other than God Himself. The evil habit of seeking ” God-and ” effectively prevents us from finding God in full revelation. In the `and’ lies our great woe. If we omit the `and’, we shall soon find God, and in Him we shall find that for which we have all our lives been secretly longing.”
This challenges me, because i have a tendency to come with all of my past experiences and knowledge and I just want God to add onto that. Obviously its not like my whole memory is going to be erased..i will still have that…but I must come to God simply to be in His presence, letting Him reveal what he chooses to reveal to me..letting Him rework things in me to become a person after His own heart. I’ve learned that this can only be done out of simplicity. I desire that my heart always remains simple, like a heart of a child.
I come to you. I am here. I dont ask anything from you but that you work in my heart only in ways you see best. I lay aside all of my hopes and expectations of seeking you, I lay aside all of my dreams for this summer and for my future, I lay aside the longings i have to make a difference in this world and in the lives of my friends, I lay aside my excuses for failure, I lay aside my own goals for my life. I praise you for who you are. I praise you for what you’ve done, what you’re doing, and what youre going to do in my life. I praise you for victory in my friends’ lives that I know i will see play out in your timing. Thank you for loving me. I love you, I love you, I love you. Amen.