The Search for Significance

Tonight I really battled with the search for significance. Being single, with a good friend moving home, another friend becoming more and more distant each day, I’m really struggling to find where my significance lies. No longer do i feel important to these people in my life. No longer do i feel like i have something to offer them, to offer those around me. I’m starting to become someone who is just starting to fade into the past. I’ve really been questioning if i really matter. Do i make a difference to anyone? Does anyone want me, or do they just tolerate me, put up with me, work around me? I am in a search for significance. In fact, I even sat down and just typed in “significance” and “importance” into the search box in biblegateway.com thinking that i would just find a great comforting verse that i was important and that i matter to God, etc. I couldnt find any. Sure, i know there are some, but they just must not use those words. But i just sat here really frustrated. I am so discouraged, so brokenhearted. I just want to hear from God. I need to know I matter.

So i started looking back through some of my old posts from this summer. The posts where i shared how close to God i felt, how great my life was, how strongly i felt God’s hand in my life. The very posts where I said “I’ve realized this very fact: Its NOT about me , its about Him.” Multiple times I quoted John 3:30–“He must become greater; I must become less.” Thats when it hit me. Yes, I’m important to God, but in all reality, its not about me!! Its so encouraging to be reminded of that. When i feel like theres nothing i can say or do right to make people happy, when I’m just not enough on my own to matter to anyone, when im just not in the right life stage to relate to anyone…its okay. Its not about me. Its about God. And this is exactly where He wants me to be.

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One thought on “The Search for Significance

  1. i happen to think you’re incredibly significant.

    Psalm 139:1-10, 15-17

    1 O LORD, you have searched me
    and you know me.

    2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
    you perceive my thoughts from afar.

    3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
    you are familiar with all my ways.

    4 Before a word is on my tongue
    you know it completely, O LORD.

    5 You hem me in—behind and before;
    you have laid your hand upon me.

    6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too lofty for me to attain.

    7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
    Where can I flee from your presence?

    8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
    if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.

    9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,

    10 even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

    15 My frame was not hidden from you
    when I was made in the secret place.
    When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

    16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
    All the days ordained for me
    were written in your book
    before one of them came to be.

    17 How precious to [b] me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!

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