Its true. I am back at MNU as a big junior and I am loving my new dorm room here in Spindle Hall. Minus the fact that i dont get reception, I am loving every minute of this apartment style living. Yay. Life has been crazy in the past few days. Moving, traveling, starting school, working, and still trying to get some sleep at the end of the day! I’ve definitely been drained, and i’ve just been desiring to “feel” God as I did this summer (even though I know that God is very much here despite the feelings.) My workload in each class is way heavier than i was expecting, so i went ahead and dropped one of my night classes..so I’m feeling a little better about things. Some of my classes have presentations in them, which i hate, but I’ll deal with those when the time comes! Needless to say, my schedule feels booked to the brim.
Again I am reminded of something Stesha has been saying a lot lately…”I’m learning the importance of being available to God.” I guess I’ve just kinda thought..well yeah..thats definitely important. But i guess I came to truly understand the importance of it this past week..mainly tonight. I have really been worried that Im going to just come back to MNU, snap back into the “mindset” that you get when you live your entire life on campus, and the very big and indescribable God that I saw this summer would slowly grow dim because my eyes slowly become fogged up with all the activity going on around me. I’ve wondered how I would even begin to tell people of the change that has happened in my life. Ive wondered if I would just go back to how I always was once i came back here, and I feared that somehow I’d just have to shout out the fact that I am a new creation in Christ. But like I’ve said before..if I have to verbally tell people that I’m a follower of Christ, something is wrong…they should be able to see the difference in my life. But if I’ve said I was a good Christian all along, why should i be any different now than I was before? But I AM!! God has redeemed me and freed me.
So anyways, I’ve just been praying that God would let people notice Christ in me…that people would notice the change in my life and want the same thing for theirs. That they would become hungrier for the passionate God I know. Well…it first started in Manhattan when I visited Stesha. We were eating at Panera, and just sat there for almost two hours just talking about the amazing things God has been doing in our lives when this guy and his wife came over and told us that they had heard we were talking about God, and that they were Christians as well and we just got a chance to talk to an amazing Godly couple about life and about God. It made me very aware of the fact that people are listening !! We didnt have to preach at anyone, we were simply living our lives and talking about the number one passion in our life…God. Then on Sunday night I had a chance to talk to one of my roommates just about what God is doing in my life..where we’ve walked in our past and the struggles we have come to face, but i totally had the opportunity to share the freedom of forgiveness that God has given me…the hunger I have for Him, and the decision to follow hard after Christ no matter what. It made my day to hear her say she wanted that same desire in her own life. (i can hear our camp speaker, Andy Addis, snickering as he says “Yaaaaaayyyy God!”)
Anyways, I’ve also had the common question “so how was your summer?” And I get to say “it was sooooo awesome! God led me to be a youth intern this summer, and I had such an amazing experience. I’m not even the same person as I was before. God has done amazing things in my life!” But anyways, that brings us to tonight. I’ve been able to briefly share about my summer with my roommate, Jenna, that usually i havent gotten into many deep conversations with, but she’s definitely been noticing the change just in my actions and comments and stuff. Well, she has a friend really struggling right now, and oddly enough, her friend just boldly came out and asked her what exactly does a person do to find God? I was blown away and honored when Jenna asked me to help her respond to her friend. Just the fact that Jenna has noticed Christ so evident in my life that she came to me. Wow. So anyways…thats what I did. I sat down, put some worship music on, and just wrote from my heart what God was saying to me. I gave that to Jenna and she used it to witness to her friend.
So what’s my title have to do with anything? I’m beginning to learn to keep my schedule free. Well, not in the sense that i need to drop all of my classes, quit my job, and move home (although its tempting sometimes!! haha). But in the fact that God wants to use me at all times of the day…not just at church, not just when im helping out with teens, not just when I’m with the interns….but at all times, in all places. Being available to God. Keeping my eyes wide open to how God is moving in every situation, every place, every conversation… everywhere. Being available to God so that He can use me in any way that He sees necessary. The lost and hurting arent just in Africa…they’re here, living among us. And the Kingdom of God isnt just up and out there somewhere….like Christ reminded us so many times, the Kingdom of God is at hand!!
Anyways…just random thoughts.