So I wasn’t feeling myself last night (as I shared in my previous post), and I really started thinking about that as I laid in bed last night. I just felt sick to my stomach and full…overly full. That’s when I started thinking about it. Lately I have been doing nothing but sitting around my house at the computer or reading a book or watching TV or something of that sort. Of course, when I get bored, I eat…when I eat, I feel lazy…and when I feel lazy, I become bored. Vicious cycle. So I started thinking about how I really havent been eating a ton, but that I eat even though I’m full. If i’m full at 6:00pm and dinner is on the table, I eat it. I’m not forced to eat it, I dont feel guilty if I dont eat it…I simply have become accustomed to the ritual of eating when it is dinner time. And not only that, but I have become accustomed to finishing all that is on my plate at dinner time. So there I was, last night, laying in bed…feeling overly full. Not because I had overeaten, but just because I continue to eat each meal regardless if I am hungry or not. So now that I know you’re questioning my sanity of why I called this post “a new form of worship,” let me now move to my point.
I felt this become a burden on my heart right around the middle of the summer…and thought about it, knew that it was going to be a big challenge to submit to, and sorta just pushed it aside. Here’s what the Spirit has been revealing to me: I have been willing to surrender my will, thoughts, emotions, actions to Him….but I have been holding back a piece of myself. I am holding back the actual temple of the Holy Spirit….my body. I know, now you’re thinking “oh dear..here we go” …and yes, brace yourselves because its a concept that even i’m having a hard time wanting to accept. But…excersize is a form of worship. WOAH. Thats hard. Taking care of the temple. Being a good steward of what God has given me…my body. I mean, im writing this and i just want to exit out of this window and forget all about it. But I must post, in order to keep myself accountable…in order to share it with fellow believers so they can keep me accountable for what God has revealed to me. I’ve found a delight in pleasing God..in surrendering myself to the ways of God….but wow, this….this one is hard. I say this with all honesty…this is not of me. I do not believe in this concept for human gratification, self adoration, or the applause of men. I believe in this concept simply because I know that its a truth revealed only by Him.
I have been excersizing my mind daily throughout the past two months, grasping the concepts the Spirit has revealed in and through my life….is it not time to excersize my body, the very temple of the Spirit Himself? If I have the mind of a master, but the body of a slave….what good am I? I know, I’m sure a few of you (as well as myself) are wanting to stick your fingers in your ears, and scream “LA, LA, LA! I’m not listening!! This is not the prayer of my heart, God!! Take back this truth that you have revealed!!” ….yet, as I said in my previous post, truth is truth whether we believe it to be true or not. Whether I want to surrender my ways to this new truth, or not, the concept has still been revealed.
And not only the fact that I must worship God by taking care of what He has given me…but worshiping Him for the way he has made me. He has made me with the ability to determine when i am hungry and full. Somehow a lot of us have unhooked that sensor, and we eat until we are too sick to function. Somehow, even though the hunger for God has intensified, and the fullness of God has been placed in my life….I’m still hungering for food to fill me in ways that food wasn’t meant to fill me. I’m not saying dont eat…no no no. I’m not going there! I’m telling myself this: “let food serve the purpose that God created it for.” To sustain life, to produce energy, to nourish the body, and for the satisfaction of the tastebuds. Let me not turn food into an afternoon boredom event, or a social habit, or an emotional security, or a tastebud addiction, or into a love that was meant for Him…not for the food that He created. Call me a fat kid ( hehe–westsiders get the joke), but these are my struggles of the heart. What part of Chris Tomlin’s song “Enough” am i not getting?
All of You
Is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
So this is what is on my heart today. The decision lies before me…do i surrender my flesh and blood to the Risen One…or do I go on pretending I didnt hear? In which case this whole summer will become void. This brings the challenge of surrender to a much higher intensity. Pray for me as I try to loosen my grips on this issue, and lay my body at the feet of His Throne. I ask for encouragement and accountability, as this may be the most difficult test yet.