Update on Brian

Just wanted to give a quick update on Brian. His last chemo treatment was on January 17. He felt pretty sick the day after treatment, but has felt progressively better since then. It’s odd, because normally it “hits” him 2-3 days after his treatment with an upset stomach, great fatigue, etc..but it really hit him on day 1 this time.

His next chemo treatment is on February 8 (the day before my birthday). We are also thinking we’ll do a PET scan in mid-late February. Keep us in your prayers for that…in the past few weeks he has started to get itchy again (symptom of Hodgkins) so obviously that freaks us out and makes our minds go crazy. Pray for peace, and also for answers at this next PET scan. We’ll let you know when that gets scheduled.

Thanks for the prayers and supporting us on this journey.

Cancer, and every other random thought.

Tonight my mom and I watched “Last Song” on Netflix. As soon as I saw it was based on a Nicholas Sparks book, I should have known that someone was going to die. SOMEONE ALWAYS DIES IN THOSE MOVIES! Ugh. Seriously.

So, you know, we get 3/4 through the movie and no one has died..I’m waiting for the boyfriend to get in a wreck or something and then, all of a sudden, (SPOILER ALERT) the dad has flippin’ cancer. Are you KIDDING me?? I should have known.

Why does everyone get cancer in movies these days. It’s like a blindside, every time! I don’t need to be reminded of the awful things that happen to people dealing with cancer. As if i don’t think about pain and death enough, let’s just roll it across the big screen for it to really sink in. Yep. Awesome.

Another thing…a former co-worker of mine just found out that his son has cancer. It has been incredibly interesting and heartbreaking watching them adjust to finding out the news. Christmas…then bone cancer only a few days later. How does someone respond to that? And then jump right into treatment. Wow. I think God blessed me by sparing me those moments of Brian’s story. Not that I would have backed away from the situation at hand, or that God couldn’t have gotten me through..because i know he would have…but I truly feel like God spared pieces of my heart by not having me around for those initial times of Brian’s diagnosis and treatment. I don’t mean that to sound bad, because I also really wish I could have been there to see him through the whole thing. That I could have been the girlfriend/wife holding him after his diagnosis…that I could have been the one he woke up to next to his bed after his transplants. That I could have been the one to stay with him in the Hope Lodge taking care of his every need while he was in isolation after his transplants. But….God always knows what is best…and maybe, just maybe, He spared me for that so that I could endure and be strong during this season. So that, when Brian gets tired or discouraged from this long road, he can look over at me and see me running the race…confident in him and in God’s ability to heal. I don’t know. just some random thoughts.

The whole death thing terrifies me. Is it bad that i think about it? I shouldn’t, i know….i know that cure rates are outstanding for lots of cancers. I know that God does miracles. I know that great advancements have happened in science and medicine. But i still think about it. And it terrifies me. I don’t know how God pulls people through those kinds of situations….i hope i never have to find out.

People think I am so strong, courageous, filled with faith…you name the adjective. But im not. I don’t feel like it. I don’t spend time in the Bible like I should. I don’t know what to pray or how to pray or what it even does, sometimes. I believe things that I’ve believe my whole life….but I wonder if those things are true, sometimes. Is God really strong when I am weak? Does he really give us new mercies every morning? Does he really provide all of our needs? Does he really give rest to the weary? Is he really my portion and supply? Or do I really want to go through situations that cause me to find out the answers.

Those are the things I battle every day. I’m glad people can find hope through our story..i’m glad they see Jesus…I’m glad that it can spur them on to be more like Jesus….but, just so everyone knows…I am so human and so jacked up, its not even funny.

..okay…i think thats all….

Moving & the plague

Well, we finally got everything moved over to our new apartment unit thanks to some great friends! I luckily got everything packed up late on Monday night, and some of Brian’s friends were here early the next day to get started. Some of my friends came shortly after and helped us move all of our stuff from one apartment unit to another unit. Luckily, our new unit is on the bottom floor so it was much easier moving in than it was moving out! I love our new apartment! Even though it is the exact same layout, there are a lot of little features that are much better than our old apartment…like darker carpet, a darker wood laminate in our kitchen, nicer floor tile, a ceiling fan in our dining room, a light in our pantry, lots more shelves and towel racks, and its on the ground floor! Oh, and brand new carpet, paint, and FRESH AIR!! PRAISE JESUS!!!! We were so thankful for our friends who gave their time and energy and muscles to help us move! We all went to Pizza Shoppe after we got most of it moved and we PIGGED OUT on some pizzas and diet cokes!

The night before we moved, and all day during the move, Brian had started coughing quite a bit (just like I had already been doing for a few days). By the time that night came, Brian had a splitting headache and “heavy lungs.” That morning I got up around 8 and was unpacking some things when my phone rang…it was Brian, who was just in the bedroom a few feet away. (Side note: the only other time Brian has called me from the other room was when he was coming down with his painful liver scare, right after we moved our stuff into our last apartment…apparently moving is not good for Brian). I answered the phone and Brian said “is it FREEZING in here!?!” I wasn’t cold at all, so I knew we were in trouble. Brian was burning up, but the thermometer didn’t show a temperature. He barely had a voice and he was aching all over. He had already called the doctors and they told him that they would be postponing his chemo treatment, but to still come in so they could figure out what was going on. I started ripping open boxes (cuz remember, we had JUST moved the day before!) and I found a sweatshirt and sweatpants for Brian..and I found enough clothes to piece myself together and we headed down to KU Med. We probably looked like a bunch of hobos. By the time we got into the doctors and they had run a few tests, he had a temperature of 102. He was freezing the whole time and had tons of layers on plus a couple of blankets.

They finally came to the conclusion that he had an upper-respiratory virus and that it would have to run it’s course. We were to come in every day until his fever broke. They gave him IV antibiotics and a prescription medication and after a few hours, we were sent home. By that night, Brian’s temperature had thankfully broken, but we still went into the doctor’s office for the next 2 days so he could get his IV antibiotics. On Friday, they discontinued his IV antibiotics because he was feeling better from his initial symptoms, but his mouth was starting to break out in some really big, painful canker sores and cold sores (probably fever blisters from his fever). The doctor prescribed him another drug for his mouth sores and I also picked up some Abreva and some other kinds of lip glosses to aid in healing this mouth sores.

Since Brian felt miserable from Wednesday through Sunday, and I felt like I was still fighting something until Friday night, we stayed home for the rest of the week and all of the weekend. I only ventured out a few times to get some groceries, medicines, or some much needed coffee and movies. We basically quarantined ourselves. Even though we felt crummy, Brian especially, it was honestly kinda nice to just be alone with each other and lounge and enjoy being together.

Brian’s mouth is starting to finally heal a bit and his swollen lips are slowly starting to get better. We both felt good enough to go back to work today, thankfully! I’m glad we got rid of the plague this time!! Now we just have to be extra protective and cautious of the germs and infections going around!! This was an unfortunate reminder of how weak Brian’s immune system can be while he is currently undergoing chemo.

Below is a picture of us on Thursday at the doctor’s office, in the waiting room. Every day we went in there, we had to wear these masks and go into a special quarantined room for sick cancer patients, so that we didn’t infect anyone else.  

Chemo is scheduled to either be Wednesday or Thursday of this week, pending on how Brian is feeling. We will keep you updated. As always, we appreciate your prayers!

PS- If you don’t have our new address and feel like you may need it, let me know and I’ll email it to you.

Other Brian updates that I forgot…

A few things that I forgot to mention in my last update with Brian…

We checked with KU Cancer Center to see if we could do all of his lab work up here at one of the Kansas City Cancer Center clinics. KU and the KC Cancer Centers struck a deal a few months back that meant that they would now be working together and therefore making it easier for patients to get care. It’s good on paper, especially since we have a KC Cancer Center just a mile away from our apartment (and KU is about 30 minutes south of here). But, after calling KU today to ask about such deals, they told Brian that the patient has to be a pretty regular patient at both places for them to be able to work together. Since we’ve only been to the KC Cancer Center once for a second opinion, they don’t consider that to be enough to allow him to get his labs done up north here at the KC Cancer Center and go down to KU for treatments. Bummer.

Last week’s labs appointment was the fastest appointment I’ve ever been to. In fact, it took us twice as long to get down there and back as it did to wait in the waiting room and then get his blood drawn for labs. Usually we don’t wait for the lab results unless we’re there for a doctors appointment (and in that case, the labs are usually done by the time we’ve waited to see the doctor).

We got the lab results back and everything that was effected was pretty expected due to the treatment. Although, we were really surprised with the lymphocytes jumping up so high! That’s really good, and he hasn’t seen them be that high since pre-transplant!! We’re not quite sure why those were so high, but we’ll definitely be asking the doctor the next time we see him.

Here was Brian’s take on the lab results:

White blood count- 3.4 [normal 4.5-11] it has gone down a little which was expected but it’s not too bad.

Hemoglobin – 12.7 [normal 13.5-16.5] it’s low for normal people but it’s actually pretty good for me. Which is not expected, it should be going down (prolly will eventually but I’ve heard of people’s counts getting better on sgn-35.) [low numbers for this is what makes you tired.]

Platelet Count- 110 [normal 150-400] it has gone down a little which was expected but it’s not too bad.

Lymphocytes - 30 [24-44] this is a surprise!! This count hasn’t been this high for I don’t know how long [it's hovered around 15 for a long time]. So, this could be a really good thing. I think this is the first time it’s been in normal range since my transplant. Weird.

Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC) – 2.05 [normal 1.8-7.0] it has gone down a little which was expected but it’s not too bad [it's previously been hovering around 5]. This is important in fighting infection.

AST – 75 [normal 7-40] This is a liver enzyme. It’s elevated probably cause my liver has to process the new meds. This is still an ok number though.

ALT- 87 [normal 7-56] Same as AST

We’ll let you know more when we have any other updates to share.

Update on Brian

It’s been almost 2 weeks since Brian’s first round of SGN-35 and he finally seems like he’s back to himself again. Of course, I’m trying my best to make sure he’s getting enough rest and taking naps…but sometimes, it’s just hard to keep a hunter at home when it’s hunting season! I’m thankful that Brian even feels up to going hunting!

On Wednesday, we went in for some routine labs (they want to check his blood work every week for at least the first few rounds to keep an eye on everything, especially his white blood count, as a low immune system can be a result of this treatment). We were also hoping to talk to a doctor about some of his symptoms, but we only got to talk to a nurse. All of his symptoms are normal for this drug: stomach pain, nausea, fatigue. The one we were particularly interested in was the onset of itchy hands. Typically Brian is pretty itchy anyways (a symptom of the cancer), but the itch on his hands was something new. Since neuropathy is one of the most common side effects of this drug, we were curious if the itchy hands could be caused by that. The nurse thought that was probably the case (she didn’t really have any answers for our questions). The one thing that confused us was that everything we’ve read about the neuropathy caused by SGN-35 was that it came on slowly, but the nurse taught me something that I didn’t know…chemo has a “compound effect,” which means that since Brian has had a lot of chemo in the past, his body will probably see side effects of this chemo a lot faster than other patients. So, the itchy hands really is probably from an onset of neuropathy, but we’ll just have to keep our eyes on it. He hasn’t mentioned it the past few days.

We’ve only been through one round, so far, but it seems as though we could have about a week and a half of crappy feelings, and then about a week and a half of feeling okay until the next round starts.

Brian’s next treatment will be on November 2, so we’ll see how he handles that round. I’ve heard that every round of chemo could be completely different than another. Only time will tell…

Confessions of a cancer fighter’s wife #2

My last post about Brian’s first round of SGN-35 chemo was pretty long, so I thought I’d just put my thoughts in a separate post. Most people ask “so how are you guys doing?” And really, I don’t know what to say to that. My general response is “we’re okay today, we’ll see how tomorrow is.” I mean, really, I don’t know what people expect to hear from that. No, this isn’t really our idea of a “good time,” but at the time, things could be much worse! People also want to know how I’M doing (which, I don’t think is NEARLY as important as how Brian is doing…). So here are some of my thoughts on the chemo process, and how “im doing.”….

This chemo treatment was my first experience with chemo. Brian has been through it several times before, as well as two Stem Cell transplants…so yeah….he’s gone through A LOT. So i feel silly talking about this as any sort of “big monumental” thing since Brian is a pro at this…but I guess it was a new thing for me, and I can’t change that fact.

I somewhat knew what to expect with the process in general…I knew where we would be at and I knew what the treatment rooms looked like and I’ve seen Brian have his port hooked up to IV’s before (when he had his Donor Lymphocyte Infusions last April). The thing I was/am primarily anxious about was his reaction to the drug. We’ve researched this drug A LOT (I honestly think we know more about it than the doctors/pharmacists)..so I knew what the general side effects are. However, you just dont EXACTLY know how things will go since every person is different…and we have the second transplant factor to throw in there also (there are not many things published about that, since they are just now allowing treatments to be done for allo transplant patients). So, theres always the unknowns to worry about.

The one MAIN thing I was worried about during the actual administering of the drug was the RARE side effect of anaphylactic shock. Obviously..yeah..terrifying. But thankfully, that wasn’t an issue at all. I think the stress of all of that wore off by the end of Monday and I’ve been pretty tired and slightly sick to my stomach since then. I think all of the nerves are just making their way out.

The biggest adjustment for me is caring for Brian now, post-treatments. It’s hard to think that he is feeling sick and tired and worn out, and yet he is still going to work. I feel guilty, like I don’t work enough for him to stay home. I’m paranoid that I don’t keep the house clean enough, in case his immune system gets weak (that is a fairly common side effect). My mind is constantly running circles about how I can help him and make his life easier, since he doesn’t feel good. I got up this morning before he woke up and took the dogs out and fed them, and made his lunch for him, just to make his morning a little easier. Generally, I work from home on Wednesdays and I’m still in bed when he leaves. But I feel so guilty that I should be doing more for him..I’m perfectly capable and healthy..he shouldn’t have to worry about any of this stuff (ESPECIALLY when he’s still going to work!).

I also feel really helpless. I don’t know how to make him feel better. Obviously I’ve bought him Sprite, and gotten him TUMS and different things like that…but really, that only helps so much. I wish i could just take this away from him. And the crazy thing is that these side effects are MINOR compared to what many people go through with more toxic chemotherapies. Crazy.

Anyways..so that’s how I’m feeling. I’m tired and my stomach has been in knots on-and-off since Monday. And I’m really ready for the weekend. Oh, and i could really really really use a Starbucks right now.

Mainly, I really just don’t know how to make things better for Brian, or how to make things easier for him….and i really, really wish I could.

So anyways, that’s how I’m doing.

Chemo (SGN-35): Round 1

Sorry I haven’t posted about Brian’s treatments yet. Monday was obviously exhausting. Tuesday was busy, but I did try to start this post then, but I just couldn’t find the words or the mental space to type it out. Today was busy and productive, filled with work and cleaning and hosting our Community Group at our house. And here it is, after 10 p.m. and I’m just now writing this. Brian is fast asleep in bed and I just couldn’t fall asleep yet. So, here I am.

Monday was Columbus Day, and I am chalking it up to that fact that the Cancer Center was so busy. I guess they are generally busy on Mondays, but considering it was a holiday, I guess everyone decided they’d spend the day at the Cancer Center. I’m not sure exactly why it was so busy, but I do know that I haven’t seen the waiting room that full since one of the first times I ever went there…if ever. I was flooded with some of the same feelings I had the very first time I went to the Cancer Center with Brian over a year ago. It feels like you’re walking into a war zone. People are all around you without hair, with masks, hunched over walking with a cane or walker or with another person’s assistance. There are people who are skin and bones, faces pale, and those who are swollen with steroids…no resemblance to what they normally look like. This thing like cancer is wreaking havoc on people, and the rest of the world seems to go on with life without any thought of it.

Monday’s appointment was longer than normal, and longer than scheduled, but I some what expected it. In fact, I even brought a backpack full of our books, magazines and snacks. I was prepared for anything. You never know how long you might be there, or what may happen in the mean time. It’s always better to be prepared. We got to the KU Cancer Center around 12:45 and checked in, and they called us back shortly after that. When we go to the Cancer Center, we go to the BMT (Bone Marrow Transplant) department. There are two areas in there…the exam rooms and the treatment rooms. We always go to the exam rooms when we go in to meet with the doctors for blood work or PET results, etc. The only time we’ve ever been in a treatment room was last June when Brian had pain in his liver and we went into the clinic without an appointment and they just moved us from room to room, depending on what was available at the time.

On Monday, since we were there for chemotherapy treatment, we were put into a treatment room. These rooms actually have their perks! Instead of an exam table for the patient, they get to sit in recliners! And they also have TV’s with cable! As soon as we got into the room, Brian got the TV turned on. They don’t have a wide variety of cable channels, but they DO have the Food Network..so we watched a bunch of delicious food being prepared the whole time. (We probably should have had lunch before we went, cuz the TV made us hungry!!)

After a little while, the nurse came in and drew Brian’s labs, and then we had to wait for quite a while to get those labs back. We also mentioned something about the treatments and they said “oh, we weren’t sure if you were getting that today or not.” ….Uh, hello?? Oh, the healthcare industry. Sometimes I just wonder how people make it out alive from those places. Ha. The doctor (Brian’s favorite doctor) also stopped in to talk to us for just a few minutes to see if we had any questions. We were so glad that we got to talk to Dr. Abhyankar…..we saw Dr. McGuirk (Mr. Doomsday!!) when we first got there and were sure that we’d have to meet with him instead. So thankfully, Dr. Abhyankar was there, as well. He definitely treats Brian like he’s a person, not just a case.

Once Brian’s labs came back, the pharmacist came up to talk about all of the possible side effects of the drug (not to mention the rare, but scary ones…anaphylactic shock, etc.!!!). After all of that, we finally were able to get to the treatment part (did I mention this was about 2 hours after we got there? And we were scheduled to be there for only an hour!). The nurse started the pre-meds (one was Zofran, I can’t remember the other). These meds are for nausea, vomiting, sick stomach, etc. They are used to hopefully prevent or calm any sick feelings while the drug is being administered. These drugs are all given as an IV through the port that Brian has in his right shoulder. Once that finished (it took about 15 minutes), they hang up the bag of chemo and get it all hooked up and hit start.

This is probably one of the more stressful/anxious moments (especially doing a new drug for the first time). You never know if he will be allergic to it or have any crazy reactions. After a few minutes, and seeing that he was fine, you start feeling a little better about it. The chemo takes 30 minutes to complete.

Once that was finished, it didn’t take long to wrap things up. We headed home around 4:30 and we stopped by Papa John’s to get pizza on the way home. That night we just watched some movies and went to bed. His stomach hurt some that night, but he wasnt sure if it was just the pizza or from the chemo.

Yesterday (tuesday) morning, I told Brian that I felt like it should already be Thursday. We were both SO EXHAUSTED!!! Seriously..i’ve already used all of my coffee budget for this week…and I could seriously go for a few more coffee’s from Starbucks (I wish they would give me a few sympathy latte’s! haha!)!

Brian’s stomach was pretty upset on Tuesday..not painful, and not to the verge of ever vomiting, but definitely uncomfortable and a bit nauseous. He’s been taking tums occasionally. He’s also getting tired a lot easier, and his body is tired by the end of the day and feels like he’s done hours worth of physical labor.

Today (Wednesday) he said his stomach felt a little better, but it’s definitely not back to normal. He was also exhausted after a full day of work and then his Men’s Bible Study tonight. (Have I ever mentioned how PROUD I am of him…he is SUCH a hard worker when I would TOTALLY be taking sick days in his shoes!).

We’re hoping that Brian will feel back to normal in a few days. And then things will start all over again November 2 at our next treatment appointment. It will definitely be an adjustment to get used to this new season. So anyways, that’s how things are going. We just take it a day at a time.

Militaristic Language

So, I read this last month and im still processing it. This post was written by a girl who just went through a transplant for Hodgkins (i think). Im not sure what my thoughts are on it…but, as I’ve been talking about Brian’s cancer and our treatments against it, I find myself thinking about this post and how true it is that we use militaristic language to describe cancer and the fight against it…

Click here to read the post on Militaristic Language.

What do you think?

Cancer sucks.

I know, I know. I’ve been talking about cancer a lot lately. Sorry. But that’s just my life right now.

Seriously, CANCER SUUUUUUUCKS!!!! I just want to scream it from a rooftop. And I’m not just talking about Brian’s cancer…it just seems like cancer is the new fad for this decade or something. Seriously…it’s disgusting how prevalent it is. I think I find out about someone new having cancer at least every two weeks, if not more. This past week, there were at least 2 new people I found about…not personally..but people I know who have connections with those people. In fact, the day after my BFF, Megan, mentioned that her friend’s mom found out she had cancer and was going downhill quickly, I found out that she passed away. Seriously–cancer makes me want to cuss.

I don’t know how people make it through this crap without Jesus. Just sayin’.

Anyways, so here are a few books I’m reading right now….

I can’t believe I’m reading this stuff. I thought these books were written for OTHER people. Not something that I would ever read, or that I’d understand or really need to read. Sigh. So far, I’ve only started the “100 questions & answers about Caring for Friends or Family with Cancer” (wow, that’s a long title). Sadly, I totally relate to so many of the questions in there already. Brian skimmed through the “Everything Changes: The insiders guide to cancer in your 20′s and 30′s” (again, another long title). He related to several of the first-hand comments that are made in that book.

These books have sparked some deeper conversations between Brian and I…of which, I am really grateful. Sometimes it’s hard to talk about that stuff because you just don’t know how to start that convo….”Can you pass the beans? Oh, and are you jealous of other 20-somethings that don’t have cancer and can travel anywhere and have kids and not worry about insurance and medical bills?” I mean…it’s just awkward and difficult all the way around. So i can say that I’m thankful I checked out these books from the library just for that sake.

But come on, No one wants to be a newly wed and be laying awake in the dark just talking about fighting for your life and all of the adult decisions we have to make. That just sucks. We should be talking about Alaskan Cruises or having kids or what it would be like to move to Africa and work with orphans for a year. Not about insurance and what drug we should take and if the FDA has approved the latest treatment and the horrible side effects of chemo and the awful symptoms of cancer and how 3 of the 5 people you went through transplants with are now dead.

It makes me sick when I think about it like that.

Anyways..I don’t quite know what I was hoping to accomplish with this blog…but I guess it just helped to externally process it. That’s all.

SGN-35

I posted this health update over at brianandangie.wordpress.com, but I thought I’d put it here as well…

Well, We’ve talked about this “new drug” called SGN-35 for a while now. It’s been in trials for a long time..and honestly, the thought of it actually being out on the market for use really hadn’t crossed my mind much. I mean, these drugs can take YEARS to get all the way through the process. But, after tons and tons of trials and getting through the entire FDA approval, this trial drug “SGN-35″ was approved in late August. The drug goes by Brentuximab Vedotin, or it’s marketed name “Adcetris.” I will still probably just call it SGN-35 cuz it’s the easiest one for me to remember, and that’s what we’ve called it for a while now. SGN-35 is the first therapeutic advance for Hodgkins Lymphoma in 30 years!!!

And now…this drug is becoming reality to us. Starting this coming Monday, October 10, at 1 p.m., Brian will start his first round of the drug. It is technically a chemotherapy, so if I mention “chemo,” I am still talking about this drug. The SGN-35 will be administered through an IV over the course of 30 minutes in one of the treatment rooms at the KU Cancer Center. I am sure we will do blood tests before and/or after this as well…so it could be an afternoon at the Cancer Center. We will do this every 3 weeks until either he has hit remission, there is progression in disease, he can’t handle the side effects, or he completes the entire treatment (16 rounds).

Based on that last sentence alone, you can probably imagine that there are a lot of unknowns. While this drug has proven to be extremely effective in treating Hodgkins after a new diagnosis or even 1 stem cell transplant, there isn’t a lot of information about the effectiveness after 2 transplants – like Brian has had. Regardless, we think that it should still knock back the cancer some, which is better than nothing. We really have no idea how this will go…we can only trust that it will help. Like we’ve said before, there are technically no other “curative” treatments left for us to explore. There are only “maintenance” drugs left. This means that the doctors don’t expect us to completely defeat it…we’ll just keep it small for as long as possible.

But God is big. And that’s all that needs to be said about that.

So how are we doing? Well, Brian doesn’t seem to be too nervous as he’s out hunting as much as possible and doing life like normal. I know that there’s obviously a little bit of anxiety or anticipation there…we really just have no idea what to expect. The one thing Brian has on his side is experience…he’s been through, not only tons of chemo, but two transplants as well. He’s stared death in the face before. So for him, this chemo won’t be as big of a deal as it is to me. With that said, I’m a little more anxious. For me, this is my first treatment I’ve been around for since we’ve been married. Prior to getting married, he had two weeks of radiation..but that only took 10 minutes to do and he pretty much felt fine for that whole thing. And then we had that huge liver scare, which they think was a result of the radiation. So…let’s just say that I already haven’t had the most pleasant experience with treatment..even with it being prior to us getting married. But now that we’re married, and this is a little more serious of a treatment, and I’m his caregiver, and I live with him…and…and…and. Well, so yeah, I’m nervous. One of the main side effects is neuropathy..which is a numb/pain feeling similar to when your hands or feet fall asleep and then they are coming out of the sleep. It’s that numb/painful feeling…i’m sure multiplied a few times. There’s always the chance that he’ll feel sick, and most likely he’ll be fatigued. So yeah…how do you care for someone going through all of that crap?

I don’t know either.

So anyways…that’s just an update on where we’re at and what we’re facing. I know that we’d both greatly appreciate your prayers.

We have a date this Saturday, so I’m looking forward to that. We just take it a day at a time…that’s all we can do.