Weight Challenge Week 5: it’s a close race.

I’ve finally hit the point where I’m just really tired of working out…I’m going to try to go to more classes this week at the gym, because it seems that those keep me going when I don’t feel like pushing myself. I will have to say that I don’t mind the food I’m eating. In fact, if I were to credit anything for any success, it would be the way I’m eating. Lots of lean protein, complex carbs (whole wheats), fruits, veggies, and lots of water….not to mention some incredible encouragement from some incredible friends who have  been even more successful than me at this same challenge! I’ve been cooking a lot more, and I’m more educated about what I’m putting into my body. It’s amazing what just a few simple changes in a person’s diet will help substantially! Just replacing all white-flour foods with whole wheat foods is a great start. Lots of lean protein combined with excersize is also great. And drinking tons of water, and only diet pop (when you have a craving for pop…in moderation), keeps my body hydrated and working properly. I will have to say it’s becoming a “lifestyle” now….but I am lacking that motivation to push myself beyond a “7″ at the gym…I need to have a few “10″ workouts this next week or two.

I wouldn’t say I’m thrilled with this week’s numbers, again, but something is better than nothing…so i’m not complaining! Like I predicted, my brother came back to whoop some butt. Although, in the overall totals…we are NECK AND NECK. Here are this week’s numbers…

Andy:
Starting weight: 237.6
Last week’s weight: 226.8
This week’s loss: -6
This week’s percentage loss: -2.6
Total percentage loss: 7.1%
Total weight loss: -16.8
Current Weight: 220.8

Angie:
Starting weight: 170.6
Last week’s weight: 160.2
This week’s loss: -1.4
This week’s percentage loss: -.9%
Total percentage loss: 6.9%
Total weight loss: -11.8
Current Weight: 158.8

I told her I understood.

I talked to a girl the other day, and that talk gave me hope and encouragement for life. She was sitting on a couch, sipping some water, pouring over her journal as though she was writing her final goodbyes. Tears were streaming down her downcast face. Her countenance was broken, her eyes determined not to look up.

As I sat down next to her, she closed up her journal. She was soft spoken. Timid. I couldn’t find a trace of hope as I studied her expressions. I asked her what she was writing about…what was running through her mind.

She was silent.

The silence was saddening. It wasn’t a shy silence. It was more a silence of distrust.

I told her I understood.

She nodded.

Little did she know, there was something about her that was so familiar, yet I didn’t recognize her.

After what seemed like an eternity, she spoke.

“I thought I was invisible. Out of all of these people, what made you notice me?”

“There’s something special about you. You stood out to me.” I said, being completely honest. There was something about this girl that gave me the impression that there was mighty potential in her. If she only knew.

She went on.

“There’s nothing special about me. I’ve tried to do everything right, but it’s never been good enough. Someone has always been better, smarter, funnier, prettier, more outgoing, more talented, more progressive, more creative. I’m not good enough for anyone. No one wants me on their team. No one cheers for me. I’m not important to anyone.”

“Did someone tell this to you?” I asked.

“No. But you can see it in their eyes. In their actions. They don’t want me. They think I’m a burden. I’m the trouble child. I’m the girl next door. I’m the sidekick. The fact that you’re even talking to me is a rare thing. I’m not good enough to be talked to. Why don’t you go talk to that pretty girl over there…or that intelligent guy over there. I’m a nobody. Why are you wasting your time on me?“

My heart was breaking. If she only knew. She WAS beautiful. Not only inside, but outside as well. If she could only see what I saw. I continued to ask her about her reasonings for these responses.

“Don’t act like you know me.” She snapped.

I wanted to tell her that I knew her more than she thought.

“The more you knew me,” she continued, ”the more you’d probably realize why everyone else hates me, too. Why everyone leaves me. Why people abandon me. Why I’m all alone. Did you know that not one single guy has ever called me beautiful? Not one has ever told me a characteristic they liked about me. Not one. And my friends, they’ve always got better things to do. They never want me around. I’m such a burden for them. They just don’t….”

I stopped her mid-sentence. I reached for her chin, lifted it, and looked her straight in the eyes.

“YOU are the most beautiful person God has ever known. He made a masterpiece when he made you. I can tell that you are funny, caring, kind, compassionate, talented, creative, and you…listen to me….you are STUNNING. It doesn’t matter what guys have or haven’t said to you. It doesn’t matter what they have or haven’t done for you. And I guarantee your friends adore you. You are your own worst enemy. Don’t believe those lies. You ARE wanted, you ARE loved, you ARE beautiful, and you are SOOOOO valuable.”

She sniffed, and her eyes began to dry up. And then she whispered, in the softest audible voice possible, one of the most profound life questions ever….

“I am?”

“Yes,” I said, confidently, “you are.”

And in that split second, I faintly saw a glimmer of hope in her eye and joy in the crack of a smile. She nodded her head, as if she would finally allow this truth to sink in this time.

For the first time, in what was probably a long time, I think she finally trusted someone again. I think she trusted me. I think she trusted the truth that I spoke about God being the source of her value and hope and joy and security and love and comfort and affirmation.

And I knew in that moment that she was going to be okay. She was going to make it. Sure, her circumstances probably won’t change overnight, but her outlook had changed. Where there was sorrow and brokenness, there was hope and joy. Where there was doubt and hurt, there was confidence and beauty. And I know that someday, this girl will make a difference in somebody else’s life because today I reminded her of God’s truth.

God is cheering for that girl. I am cheering for that girl.

God believes in that girl. And I believe in that girl.

I am that girl.

If my life were a kitchen…

There is a side of me that wants my life to look like this….

But deep down inside, I think I’d rather have it turn out like this…

Challenge Weigh In: Week 4

So, I’m not sure how to feel about this week. I worked out an entire week straight, every day, between an hour or two each time..sometimes even twice a day. I even have multiple injuries, scrapes and bruises to prove it! haha. I guess this week’s number is still pretty good in the over all scheme of things, though. It’s totally like the Biggest Loser where they work their butt off, and then they gain a pound or something. Bodies function in really odd ways. I guess I’m just preparing myself for when I actually hit the “wall” and I don’t lose anything, which will probably be soon. So, I guess I’ll be happy for anything at this point. Also, poor Andy. I actually feel bad for him. He’s been working out and nothing. Totally Biggest Loser flashbacks. But I have a feeling he’ll come back with a vengeance next week.

Here’s this week’s results….

Andy:
Starting weight: 237.6
Last week’s weight: 226.8
This week’s loss: 0
This week’s percentage loss: 0
Total percentage loss: 4.55%
Total weight loss: -10.8
Current Weight: 226.8

Angie:
Starting weight: 170.6
Last week’s weight: 162.2
This week’s loss: -2
This week’s percentage loss: -1.23%
Total percentage loss: 6.09%
Total weight loss: -10.4
Current Weight: 160.2

We’ll see how next week goes. I already have a bad feeling about it. I think I’ve hit the point of the game where I’m worn out and I’d rather just eat a piece of cake. I gave Andy a pep talk over text messaging today and gave him full permission to beat me next week. We all need a little encouragement every once in a while. So for both me and Andy…here’s to better days…

(And here’s hopin’ to break into the 150’s soon…)

Cat betrayed his girlfriend

Enjoy this HILARIOUS video!!!!!!

Week 3 weigh in…GAME ON.

I’m pretty stoked about this week’s weigh in. Honestly, as hard as I’ve been working this week, I didn’t see the scale move much for most of the week..but this weekend, after lots of cardio, the numbers totally dropped. SO awesome. Another thing that affected Andy’s weigh in this week is that my parents and his girlfriend (now fiancée) came down, and Andy proposed….so he “celebrated” a lot this weekend. I celebrated, inside my head, while I watched him eat cupcakes. lol.

Here are this week’s results:

Andy:
Starting weight: 237.6
Last week’s weight: 227.0
This week’s loss: -.2
This week’s percentage loss: -.00…
Total percentage loss: 4.55%
Total weight loss: -10.8
Current Weight: 226.8

Angie:
Starting weight: 170.6
Last week’s weight: 165.2
This week’s loss: -3
This week’s percentage loss: -1.75%
Total percentage loss: 4.92%
Total weight loss: -8.4
Current Weight: 162.2

Not only did I win this week, but I am also winning in the ENTIRE GAME!!!! GAME ON.

Weight Challenge Wk. 2: I won this week!!

You know how digital scales take a few times to get to the accurate reading? Well I psyched myself out this morning thinking I had lost another 3.5 pounds, but that wasn’t so. Boo. But, honestly, I figured that would be the case because I did a TON of weights this week. I actually thought I would GAIN weight this week because I had done so many weights. Luckily, I did still lose a little. Another factor that played into my win this week is the fact that my brother was super busy and also went home where my parents and his girlfriend obviously spoiled him rotten. (thanks, mom!)

Here are this week’s results:

Andy:
Starting weight: 237.6
Last week’s weight: 225.6
This week’s loss: +1.4
This week’s percentage loss:-.5%
Total percentage loss: 4.6%
Total weight loss: -10.6
Current Weight: 227.0

Angie:
Starting weight: 170.6
Last week’s weight: 166.6
This week’s loss: -1.4
This week’s percentage loss: .8%
Total percentage loss: 3.1%
Total weight loss: -5.4
Current Weight: 165.2

I won for the week!!!! Although, in the big scheme of things, I’m still losing. But just give it time.

Why I confessed my weight.

I’ve already had several people mention the weight loss challenge with my brother, their impressive remarks about Andy’s 12 pound loss, and comments about me stating my actual weight.

Let me tell you the reasons why I did so, and a few things that weren’t reasons for doing so…

First, I didn’t do it for attention or to highlight some impressive achievement of a goal. To be honest, I don’t really have a set “goal.” I’ll remind you to reread this post to remember why I’m doing this in the first place. It’s not about me, it’s not about me beating or proving anything to anyone. It’s about the fact that I know God has called me to respect my body more than I have been.

Second, I post these numbers for additional accountability. If I know that a handful of people are keeping an eye on the challenge with my brother, I know I have to be ready for their questions on my progress. I know that every Monday, they will see the numbers..and the numbers don’t lie. And I also know that with their support, encouragement, and constant accountability, it will be a lot harder for me to throw in the  towel.

Third, the reason I post the actual true numbers is because honestly I don’t care. I’m not hiding. I’m not going to mask myself. This is who I am. Flaws and all. I strive to be authentic and genuine.

My challenge to you is to stop hiding. Maybe it’s not your weight. Maybe it’s that closet addiction. Maybe it’s your doubts. Maybe it’s your need for control and legalism. Maybe it’s your fear of being alone. Stop trying to mask it. Stop pretending it’s not affecting you. Tell someone. Get help. Be yourself. Confess. Do it. Now.

Weight Challenge Wk. 1

Last week Andy and I decided to compete against each other to see who could lose the most weight. I guess you could call it our own version of The Biggest Loser. We stick money in a pot each week for various goals achieved, weight loss numbers, etc., and on Christmas morning, whoever has had the biggest percentage of total weight loss wins the money. It is on like Donkey Kong!!!

The results are in for the first week! And I totally got smoked! Boooooo. Here are the cold, hard numbers….

Andy:
Starting weight: 237.6
This week’s loss: -12.2
This week’s percentage loss: 5.1%
Total percentage loss: 5.1%
Total weight loss: -12.2
Current Weight: 225.6

Angie:
Starting weight: 170.6
This week’s loss: -4
This week’s percentage loss: 2.3%
Total percentage loss: 2.3%
Total weight loss: -4
Current Weight: 166.6

This weeks winner: obviously Andy!! Good job bro!! (but watch your back, next week is a different story…)

(oh, and don’t think I’m feeling sorry for myself. I’m actually pretty impressed about the 4 pounds in a week!)

changed.

“How can I stand here with you, and not be moved by you?”
[Everything by Lifehouse]

The love of God CHANGES us, and we’re never the same after we’ve encountered the love of God..and right now, if you’ve never encountered the love of God..AND YOU WOULD KNOW BECAUSE YOU WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME, YOU WOULD NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN..and if you want to encounter the love of God, you’d better just brace yourself because he’s about to just blow in this place and we’re going to encounter the love of God right now.
[Kim Walker quote while singing "How He Loves Us" at Jesus Culture Conference]

This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!
[2 Corinthians 5:17]

I am convinced that a person cannot have an encounter with the Living God and walk away unchanged. I am convinced that a person who experiences the love and power of this Supernatural Father will not be able to ignore His promptings in their life. I am convinced that the very presence of this Holy One will change the hearts of men and make their lives brand new. I am absolutely convinced.

I do believe that the further from the encounter, the easier it is to do one’s own will rather than the will of God. I do believe that people choose to harden their hearts and refuse to accept the experience. I do believe men have free will, and they are entirely capable of choosing to deny God. But if one has truly encountered the Creator of the universe, I find it hard to believe that they will not, in some shape or form, be changed.

This is true in my own life.

And yes, sometimes I try to ignore or deny the promptings of God. Yes, sometimes I try to keep God at arms length because I’m tired of changing. Yes, sometimes I pretend I didn’t hear His powerful whispers to my soul.

But the promptings and whispers are still there.

And the more I desire a relationship with Him, and the more I pursue His presence, the stronger those promptings get.

Until I hit a breaking point.

I simply CAN NOT go any further into this intimate relationship with Him until I change what He’s asking me to change.

He slowly and gently refines me.

He asks for my money.

He asks for my time.

And lately, he’s been asking for my body.

And I’ve tried to pretend I didn’t hear Him.

Key word: tried.

I can’t pretend anymore.

I know He is calling me to give up my own desires and my own will and my own control over even my own body. He is calling me to take better care of the earthly shell He’s given me. He is calling me to display discipline and obedience in my flesh…literally.

And. it. SUCKS.

But what sucks worse than having to discipline my body and sacrifice my time and desires to work out is the fact that I can’t seem to get more intimate with Him until I choose to change. It’s a barrier. It is an area in my life God is calling me to change, and I can’t commune with Him while I know I’m blatantly disobeying His will for my own life and body. Some may think that society is just taking its toll on me, or that I’m just jumping on the “get fit” bandwagon, but let’s just be honest….if I could, I would eat everything in sight and lay on my couch all day long. The only thing that is moving me to action is God’s rather noticeable nudge on my heart.

And so I sit here today sharing this with you. Because I know that my flesh is screaming against this. I want to crawl under my covers. I want to kick and scream while someone drags me to the gym. My flesh hates this. But God says that the flesh can be my enemy and that only under His leadership will I have victory over it.

And so I ask you to join me in this battle. Because while I do believe we are changed after encountering God, I also believe that the enemy wants us to believe that we don’t really have to change. I know I can’t do this on my own.

I need encouragement. I need accountability. I need people to battle beside me.

Will you join me? Will you help me follow God’s promptings in my life to be a better steward of my body? Will you remind me that my body is a temple of the Holy Spirit? Will you encourage me when I want to give up? Will you love me when I trip and fall?

I pray that my life be a living testimony to the power and love and holiness of God’s work in me.