Eighteen.
That’s how old I was when I first met her. One of my role models, that is.
I remember walking into Chipotle, a restaurant that was completely foreign to the little naive girl from Iowa I was back then. Oh man, what to get…what to get…what to get. How do I even order at this place? Good grief, those burritos are the size of my shoe. I finally managed to choose something by the time I got to the counter. ”Three soft tacos with chicken and shredded cheese, please.” I still get that same thing, to this very day.
I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know how to tell someone “my story.” People ask about your story a lot when they first meet you..have you noticed that? I think that was the first time I had to do that. I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t very exciting…i stuttered and stammered and was quite awkward (I still am). “Well…i grew up in Iowa…” But she listened. She didn’t make me feel like I was weird. I was. But she didn’t make me feel like I was.
She asked me to help her design some things for a project she was working on. Me. A freshman in college. She asked me to help her design things. Didn’t she know I didn’t have any education yet? But she was confident I could do it…she made me believe I could do it to. And I did it. I managed to design some things that I was very proud of…that would be shown in a church of thousands. Still, to this day, I don’t know what made her give me a shot.
Twenty.
That’s how old I was when she asked me to intern at our church. Me. This shy, awkward Iowa girl. I knew nothing about youth ministry. I still dont know why she even mentioned it. If I saw myself, I wouldn’t think I had a shot in the dark to be a good fit for ministry…let alone youth ministry. But she still mentioned it.
That summer, Jesus Christ changed my life from the inside out through the influence of my roommates, the staff members, and her…as my role model…and that summer, as my “internship mentor.” That is the summer that I realized that my life was not my own. God may call us to painfully difficult circumstances where He calls us to glorify Him and Him alone. Sometimes our lives don’t turn out how we expected them, but God knew exactly how it would turn out. That summer turned out to be one of the most defining summers of my life.
Twenty One.
I learned a lot about leadership and strategy and teamwork and ministry. I discovered a new passion in life. I spent time watching my role model, trying to learn how to lead well. Trying to learn how to make good decisions, how to be a good listener to students, how to deal with crisis and maintain a healthy balance of work and life. I grew a lot in both leadership and personality that summer.
Twenty Two.
Somehow I ended up on staff, working my way towards a similar role that my role model had. Do not ask me how that happened. I still see myself as a naive little Iowa girl. But people saw things in me. They seemed to trust me with responsibility. And when the time came that my role model left, I actually assumed some of her responsibilities. How does that happen? Who in their right mind would give some little punk 22-year-old the responsibilities of her role model? That is insane.
So here I am.
Here is my life.
And it is time for me to pay it forward.
It is time for me to give someone a chance.
It is time for me to give someone a shot.
Now is my chance to listen to another girl who may think she is awkward and worthless and has no value to add.
Now it’s my turn to be a role model for someone else.
I can’t keep “getting” without giving.
She was an agent of change in my life, and I aspire to be like her someday.
If it weren’t for my role model, I wouldn’t be who I am today.
I hope someone will say that about me some day.




